Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How do I convince my husband that a threesome is okay?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Do married men like sucking dick?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is your worst experience in life?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What are the core beliefs of liberalism and conservatism? Can you provide a list of defining characteristics for each side?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is your review of The Office (U.S. TV series)?

I have a reading level above third grade

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Do you believe that social media companies should allow posts spreading misinformation about election results, as suggested by Rep. Jim Jordan?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What is the most gay experience with your dad?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

Is it true that LGB should drop T?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do some films seem to date/age so badly?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why can’t the British eat or drink anything unless they place a table cloth on the table first?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

Here's The Top 10 Most Expensive Pokémon Cards in Destined Rivals - IGN

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter